Death is not a medical emergency – it is possible to slow down.  

There is no incorrect way to approach death, there are only options and instincts. That said, when a person dies in BC there are standard steps that need to be taken.

This content was inspired by Emily Bootle’s work at DeathCare BC and gratefully shared with her permission.

The first few moments: Be present

There is a strong sense of urgency in the immediate moments after a death. Adrenaline, shock, grief, and fear will all play a part in exacerbating the feeling that something needs to happen right away.
Slow down, be present, and allow there to be silence.
Take a deep breath.

The first few hours:

Identify who is the legal representative or executor.

The order of priority for who may be considered the legal representative, as per the Cremation, Interment and Funeral Services Act.

Decide when to transport the body

The urgency to transfer the body depends on where someone dies. The main reason being the availability of a morgue.

Medical facilities will often have a morgue on site, whereas community facilities and private homes will not. A body can be kept cool in a morgue for hours or days until decisions are made regarding who is the legal representative and a funeral home is chosen. There is more urgency when a morgue is not available, unless other measures are taken to keep the body cool such as the use of ice and air conditioning.

Whether the death will be registered by the coroner or a medical professional will also impact how soon they can be transferred.

Unexpected Death: You will need to call 9-1-1 to have a coroner attend and provide an assessment. The coroner will decide whether or not to keep custody of the body.

Note: if the coroner has released the body to the designated representative, this is a slow down opportunity. Though it may be completely overwhelming, doing small things such as fixing a person’s hair or holding their hand until the funeral home’s transfer team arrives is OK.

Expected Death at Home: With an expected death the caregiver will likely have been guided to complete an “Expected Death in the Home Form“. This document is valid for 3 months from signing, and it means that neither a coroner nor a physician/nurse practitioner need to attend and confirm the death. The funeral home can be called any time to receive the body. Some families take extra time – from a couple of hours to a couple of days.

Note: this is a slow down opportunity, there is no legal requirement to transfer the body within a certain amount of time so only call when you are ready. 

Long Term Care or Assisted Living: Since most of these facilities are not connected to a hospital they typically will not have a morgue. The next of kin will be asked to contact a funeral home to come and receive the body at their earliest convenience.

Note: it may be possible that this is a slow down opportunity. Ask the staff at the facility what their protocols are for how quickly the body needs to be moved, some will permit several hours for the family to spend together. This may be less if it is a shared room or if they have policies against extended or group visits. This time can be used to bathe or dress them, take a lock of hair, kiss their forehead, hold their hand, sing a song. However you see fit.

Hospital Death: When someone dies in hospital there is often an urgent need for their room to be used for another patient, and there is additional work that needs to be done by the administrators of the hospital prior to releasing the body. For these reasons the body will likely be transferred to the hospital morgue after death.

Note: even though the hospital may need the room right away, it is important to ask to slow down as needed. This will only happen once.

The first few days:

Meeting with the funeral director and getting death certificates.

Funeral homes are a multipurpose service – they help with everything from basic body care, death registration and logistics, cremation or burial, to event planning, liaising with caterers and directing dozens or hundreds of guests for a funeral or memorial.

In BC our funeral homes are entirely private industry, albeit highly regulated, which means that they are for-profit. Though some might feel uncomfortable with the idea of a business making profit out of transactions with bereaved families, it is how the system has been created and it is the only one we have. There are no publicly funded or not-for-profit funeral homes in BC.

Most funeral directors have come into their work honestly and out of a wish to serve their communities. Many of them are also business owners, community members, and have families of their own. If you have chosen a funeral home but do not feel comfortable, always reserve the right to take your business elsewhere. The funeral home has a duty to serve, and your community has a right to feel supported.

When you have your meeting it may happen by phone, online, or in person at your home or in their office. These meetings can range from 30 minutes to 3 hours depending on the type of event that is being planned, and your relationship to the funeral director. The elements of a funeral arrangement include:

• Information Gathering: Vital Statistics details for death registration and creating the death certificate; family history for the National Registry; employment information for the CPP Death Benefit/Survivor’s Benefit.
• Death Certificates: funeral directors are licensed registrars for Vital Statistics and will use the information provided by the representative, along with the Medical Certificate of Death (issued by the physician or coroner) to create the Death Certificate. Death certificates will take anywhere from two days to over a week to create depending on when the funeral home receives the information needed.  A death certificate in BC is a legal document similar to a birth certificate.  The complexity of the estate will dictate how many death certificates are needed and the funeral director will be able to provide guidance with this.
• Decision Making: cremation or burial, open invitation funeral service or private family event, cemetery or scattering.
• Product Selection: casket, urn, obituary, flowers, catering, portrait, the list goes on.
• Scheduling: when and where is the service happening, is the family going to be present for the cremation or burial.
• The Body: bathing, embalming, or neither, which clothes, body present at the service or not.

Think of funeral directors like wedding planners – whether you decide to have a small courthouse union or a multi-day event, funeral directors make sure that the essential logistics are covered and that no details are missed.

For individuals who qualify, funeral costs may be paid by the Ministry of Social Development and Poverty Reduction.  There is also a Canadian Pension Plan Death Benefit that qualifying individuals can apply for – note: it can take 6 to 12 weeks for funds to be received, payment to the funeral home will be required within the first few days.

The first few weeks:

Planning the: funeral, wake, memorial, visitation, viewing, celebration of life, service of remembrance.

If the body is going to be present at the service it is likely that you will have enlisted the support of the funeral director with your planning. They will make sure that the body is cared for and transported according to the instructions provided by the family: this may include clothing and cosmetics, taking a lock of hair, scanning a fingerprint for keepsake jewellery, taking DNA for ancestry or genetic medical testing. It is possible to place items in the casket with the deceased: letters, photos, a stuffed animal or a blanket are all possible options. If choosing green burial, anything made from natural fibres is allowed. For cremation, items must be combustible but not explosive.

If you have decided to plan a ceremony or event independently instead of using the funeral home’s services, there are many other supports that you can find to provide assistance. There are even event planners who specialize in memorial events, celebrants who are experienced in ceremony planning, and venues which will provide guidance regarding group sizes and options.  If you complete a quick search online you will find many virtual checklists to assist with your planning as well, many with little to no cost.

Be mindful that though the financial cost may be less there is still a lot of energy and time required to plan a memorial event. Discuss with your community and determine whether the benefits may outweigh potential costs when considering hiring an event planner or funeral home to look after the details.

Don’t underestimate the value of gathering as a community to mark and celebrate a life lived. Individuals sometimes make a well meaning but misinformed statement to loved ones before they die: “Don’t have a funeral for me”, in fact it’s common to see obituaries mention: “No service by request”. Funerals and celebrations of life are not for the person who has died but for their survivors. It is also an opportunity for the outer ring of grievers – colleagues, neighbours, community members – to gather and acknowledge the hole that is left by the absence of that person. The funeral is an opportunity for those beyond the family to show their support and for family to witness the impact their loved one had on their community.

While there are certain steps to take in caring for the physical remains, there is no wrong way to do death care. Acknowledging the loss, even by just lighting and candle and speaking their name. It marks the difference between life with and life without that person.

Visit my colleague Emily Bootle at DeathCare BC